January 1, 2013. Social anxiety! Started hitting snooze at 7:30 am. Kept hitting snooze until 11 or so. Planned to go to parties and see friends all day. Got ready. Couldn’t get myself to leave the house. Missed it all. Paralyzed. So sunny I couldn’t stand it. Wow! Still might get out there, now that it’s dark. Sure would help to have someone to come scoop me up!
Daily habit…going to have to re-name this thing I do. December 23, 2012. Brussel sprouts. I’m making brussel sprouts for our Xmas potluck at work. Today was a pretty good day. I saw several people I like a lot, things went close to plan, and it was my second day going to a tanning bed for my eczema. Hope it works.
Daily habit. December 19, 2012. Double spectacles. Well…this is what it has come to now. The latest awesome thing in my life is that my vision is deteriorating so rapidly, that I need 2 pairs of glasses to see well enough to do photo work on the computer. Part of the problem is that these first glasses are still last year’s Rx. But wearing glasses over myt contacts helps too. So the problem is more that it is hard to correct my vision perfectly anyway, then add on that they are changing rapidly, especially when I’m tired like I was today. The second one started out as cross processed. I just thought it was nice to compare.
Daily habit. December 19, 2012. Polka dots. To celebrate the return of my eczema, I thought I would highlight it here. There is the shot of my leg with the eczema spots. They cover the entirety of both my legs & my arms and a little on my torso & face. I feel so unsexy I may as well be a cow. Going to be a long time before anyone sees my nude body again. :-(
I’m convinced it is a food allergy since it comes on so suddenly like a rash, and I have a lot of food intolerances. So, I’m back to a very strict diet. Should be losing those unwanted pounds of fat now. :-) And hopefully get rid of my spots sooner than last time. I would like to have sex again, with another human, before I turn 50.
Daily habit. December 17, 2012. Blue paper. This is thicker than the wet tissue paper I shot with before. Not quite as fun to work with, but it was ok. Feeling kind of good right now.
Daily habit. December 16, 2012. Tired. Shot this last night after work and going out for drinks. I have dark circles. I have a burn on my arm. My eczema is back and I look like a leper. I have 2 huge zits between my eyes. Don’t feel hot at all. So glad to have my Riley to goof around with.
A patient last night gave me a very nice & well timed compliment. He was a trauma patient in the hall, and I walked by him several times. One time he simply blurted out, “You’re a beautiful woman!” Then he apologized for his delivery. “I don’t know why I just blurted it out like that. Must be the pain medicine. But it’s true.” It was so sweet. And it came at a great time. It was sincere and very much appreciated.
Daily habit. December 15, 2012. Peace & Pooh. I just randomly got the idea to play with bandaids while going pee. I love bandaids. Kinda made me think of all those kids killed at school. :-(
Daily habit. December 13, 2012. Bloated! This is what happens when I eat a small amount of the wrong thing. It lasts for at least 3 days, because everything I eat afterward then also makes me bloated. It’s all air. About 30% greater than my normal girth. It’s kinda painful. I feel like I’m going to pop. I can’t fart or poop. That is the problem. I take enormous doses of simethicone and maalox in order to pass this. A couple years ago, when it first got this bad, all food did this to me, and I didn’t seem to be absorbing any nutrition. I lost a ton of weight, my hair was falling out & my nails wouldn’t grow. It was scary. I thought I must have cancer. I’m much better these days, but it still happens & more so lately, because I’ve been depression eating. So now that it’s caused me to miss my work xmas party…time to get back to a strict diet. I can’t handle this anymore…and it might be nice to get laid again some day. ;-)
Daily habit. December 12, 2012. Retail therapy, deuxième partie. I don’t celebrate Xmas, but I looked around for gifts for other people who do, and that’s when I realized…I am not close enough to anyone, including my closest friends, my ex-husband, my sister & my mom, to have a clue what they would like for a gift. That made me very sad. So, I got what I went there for…that enameled cast iron cookware I’ve wanted for years. Going to compare Le Creuset & Cuisinart for quality, just because, since they look and feel the same, but there is a big price difference, even with these factory seconds.
Daily habit. December 11, 2012. Retail therapy. I’m not sure what happened to my swag, but my knee injury is really getting me down. You can see by my right knee, I haven’t been doing my squats for a while. Definitely shouldn’t have started with ball slams. Huge mistake. Then I woke up today to see that my eczema has suddenly returned, overnight, after a 5 year hiatus. Last time it took 3 or more years to get rid of. I tried retail therapy, to no avail. Notice my finds. Feel like I”m sinking again. Dammit! And I’m so damn tired of my lighting limitations due to the size and shape of my space and length of my sync cord. I wish I lived in a loft or warehouse!
