Showing posts tagged nurse

Daily Habit

Daily habit. December 20, 2012. I really wanted to do a photo tonight, but couldn’t come up with an idea quickly enough after work, and I want to go to bed so I don’t feel like shit tomorrow. Trying hard to do it every day, and enjoying the hell out of being free and back on the horse, so to speak. But I have to prioritize. I wanted to make a photo to accompany the following story:

I was propositioned by one of my patients tonight. He did it in the sweetest way ever. He had already expressed his attraction to me. Then, while I was drawing his blood, he told me that his father had left some money when he died in the control of one of his sisters, and she said she was going to give him a monthly allowance. He said he would like to use that money to take care of me. He asked me to be his friend, with no strings attached, and he would “see that I’m taken care of.” He said he had never had a caucasian friend, and had always wanted one, and that the moment he first saw me, his heart went …he patted his chest. As I was starting to decline his offer he cut me off with, “You don’t have to answer now. If the next time you see me, you recognize me, and say, ‘Hi Alton Brown.’ (name changed to protect privacy), then the offer still stands. I will mail it to you…” This sure made the idea inserting a catheter into his penis awkward, so I got one of my male colleagues to do it. (Thanks again Daveed). Obviously, this is wildly inappropriate, and not something I would ever consider, but why can’t I meet a guy like this on the outside? I’m in the market for a sugar daddy, (although I doubt this man could afford me), especially since I’m losing tons of hours to travelers for the next few months, which sucks, because I have to get a second job now.

Anyway…also a guy I’m attracted to finally spoke a full couple sentences to me tonight, and vice versa, after months of eye contact. It was an interesting day. :-) I will try to come up with an appropriate image to add later. It was a day worthy of an image to represent it.

November 14, 2012. Sad commuter. #sanfrancisco #sf #commute #sad #sadnurse #nurse # baybridge #instagram View high resolution

November 14, 2012. Sad commuter. #sanfrancisco #sf #commute #sad #sadnurse #nurse # baybridge #instagram

Daily habit. November 14, 2012. Commute. I hate my commute so much it makes me cry. #commute #sad #nurse #selfportrait View high resolution

Daily habit. November 14, 2012. Commute. I hate my commute so much it makes me cry. #commute #sad #nurse #selfportrait

Daily habit. November 9, 2012. Creative way to keep hands warm in freezing cold trauma room. #nurse View high resolution

Daily habit. November 9, 2012. Creative way to keep hands warm in freezing cold trauma room. #nurse

Daily habit. November 5, 2012. “Bauble. Super long…instagram & twitter followers may want to check this out on tumblr. A little easier to read. It’s rare of me to go on like this. Hopefully worth it. Felt good to get this off my chest. Thanks to the 1 ot 2 people who are actually reading this (easy read). This is my 10 year bauble (pin) for work. Not completely meaningless, since it technically acknowledges 10 years of service, but it is still a non-valuable trinket that i will never wear. Also, i have almost 15 years in. Who knows if they will ever acknowledge again. I’ve never seen it before. I know i must sound jaded. I am sometimes, but mostly i cope with a very difficult job by lowering my expectations slightly from my ideal (for example, this pin means nothing to me), and focus on the positive and meaningful interactions & tasks throughout each day, (of which there are many,) but one must be open and paying attention to appreciate them. It totally wotks most of the time. Also, i get a favorite song stuck in my head by listening to it all the way to work. Does wonderful things for my mood. Overall, i am grateful for such an interesting and meaningful job / career. I think I would be happier if I treated it more like an educated career position, like I thought it would be, but it is often challenging when I feel like it is treated more like “just educated labor.” I guess it’s up to me to embrace the career option, like I did somewhat when I was younger, greener. I should work the part I want to have, right? Rather than work the part that people who don’t really care about me or my future expect of me. I should be trying to blow them and myself away with awesomeness. Right? Administration is actually more supportive of this positive learning environment than I think they have ever been. This is such a journal entry…funny it’s totally public now.  The constant, accelerated change over tbe past 10 years or so has made it much less fun and more stressful than ever, so focusing on positive  is crucial. But that bauble pin doesn’t mean a thing to me. ‘Tis a mere trinket…with some positive idea behind it from my administrators. Nice to be acknowledged, for sure, however, verbal feedback from patients, family, colleagues & supervisors infinitely more powerful. I got some today that made my day…from a patient I helped 2 years ago. I remembered his face only, but he jogged my memory. It keeps me reaching higher with my compassion & efficiency balance. Thank you so much to those who give thanks, or any other feedback. freely, to me and other deserving colleagues. We have a great crew. Does anyone care about this bauble? For future reference, i would probably much more appreciate a book, or coffee mug, or sweatshirt (since it’s freezing in the ER, or a useful medical app, pepid my preference, but probably too expensive…even a gift certificate for part of an app, or an app, or itunes…something useful in this economy. Im just saying…maybe bauble is not tbe best choice to thank us for many years of loyal service at a constantly challenging, and difficult, and serious job. Ok…getting off my soap box. Who knew “bauble” would spark my thought process like this. I’m thinking more about this stuff than usual due to reading about the propositions and stuff in my procrastinated prep for voting with some decent understanding of what & whom i vote for. If however, you find the trinket / bauble pin of value, you should be able to enjoy that. No judgement from me. We should each have some choice, as we nurses are all so different in what motivates us. Some may want the pin ( bauble ) and some of us may prefer a coffee maker, tent, or airline miles, for example. Give us a decent choice of accelerating value ( according to seniority plus performance ( perhaps)) that makes everyone the happiest employee to promote that staff loyalty, [this worked well at a former (low paying but satisfying, challenging) job when we got ascending value catalogues to a department store / mail order catalogue. Everyone was happy, and admin didn’t have to pay much money for this positive reinforcement) especially since we are the lowest paid, but seemingly most devoted to out particular patient population & their level of problems; & I must not forget the unique & fabulous learning environment with our top notch EM residency program, (though not as effortless as “back in the day,” as we must be very proactive to learn from the residents or our cases, but I imagine it’s fantastic compared to private hospitals) learning environment I think most of us appreciate with our ED resident program & that is largely why many of us are there. That and the general, constant challenge. There are really only an isolated few who are there to exploit the combination of factors to be a lo-baller (who none of us like or respect AND you know who you are…but probably don’t give a damn about my blog. Or maybe you do, because you may appreciate art or something else we have in common, or truly not realize I’m talking to / about you. It could happen. Not everyone is self aware or as conniving as they seem up front. Whew… Ok, really done ranting (or suggesting any change, but please feel free to consider my ideas. Bottom line is i will vote for Obama! And probably the more liberal choice for most of the proposition…maybe mix it up, issue by issue. Thats where we have the most power (propositions), so i dont want to skip it despite not knowing every detail, but will only vote for props & candidates i feel at least somewhat confident in my opinion and a little trustworthy (judged by my gut reaction ÷ some reasonable sounding forum arguments (also judged largely by my gut feeling This is my process, though usually i read more, farther in advance. Good luck to all of us. Sorry to ramble on. I’m sure youve stopped reading if not interested. Cool. Eed #selfportraeit #self #me #voting #365 #opinions View high resolution

Daily habit. November 5, 2012. “Bauble. Super long…instagram & twitter followers may want to check this out on tumblr. A little easier to read. It’s rare of me to go on like this. Hopefully worth it. Felt good to get this off my chest. Thanks to the 1 ot 2 people who are actually reading this (easy read).

This is my 10 year bauble (pin) for work. Not completely meaningless, since it technically acknowledges 10 years of service, but it is still a non-valuable trinket that i will never wear. Also, i have almost 15 years in. Who knows if they will ever acknowledge again. I’ve never seen it before. I know i must sound jaded. I am sometimes, but mostly i cope with a very difficult job by lowering my expectations slightly from my ideal (for example, this pin means nothing to me), and focus on the positive and meaningful interactions & tasks throughout each day, (of which there are many,) but one must be open and paying attention to appreciate them. It totally wotks most of the time.

Also, i get a favorite song stuck in my head by listening to it all the way to work. Does wonderful things for my mood. Overall, i am grateful for such an interesting and meaningful job / career. I think I would be happier if I treated it more like an educated career position, like I thought it would be, but it is often challenging when I feel like it is treated more like “just educated labor.” I guess it’s up to me to embrace the career option, like I did somewhat when I was younger, greener. I should work the part I want to have, right? Rather than work the part that people who don’t really care about me or my future expect of me. I should be trying to blow them and myself away with awesomeness. Right?

Administration is actually more supportive of this positive learning environment than I think they have ever been. This is such a journal entry…funny it’s totally public now.  The constant, accelerated change over tbe past 10 years or so has made it much less fun and more stressful than ever, so focusing on positive  is crucial. But that bauble pin doesn’t mean a thing to me. ‘Tis a mere trinket…with some positive idea behind it from my administrators. Nice to be acknowledged, for sure, however, verbal feedback from patients, family, colleagues & supervisors infinitely more powerful.

I got some today that made my day…from a patient I helped 2 years ago. I remembered his face only, but he jogged my memory. It keeps me reaching higher with my compassion & efficiency balance. Thank you so much to those who give thanks, or any other feedback. freely, to me and other deserving colleagues. We have a great crew.

Does anyone care about this bauble? For future reference, i would probably much more appreciate a book, or coffee mug, or sweatshirt (since it’s freezing in the ER, or a useful medical app, pepid my preference, but probably too expensive…even a gift certificate for part of an app, or an app, or itunes…something useful in this economy. Im just saying…maybe bauble is not tbe best choice to thank us for many years of loyal service at a constantly challenging, and difficult, and serious job. Ok…getting off my soap box.

Who knew “bauble” would spark my thought process like this. I’m thinking more about this stuff than usual due to reading about the propositions and stuff in my procrastinated prep for voting with some decent understanding of what & whom i vote for. If however, you find the trinket / bauble pin of value, you should be able to enjoy that. No judgement from me. We should each have some choice, as we nurses are all so different in what motivates us. Some may want the pin ( bauble ) and some of us may prefer a coffee maker, tent, or airline miles, for example. Give us a decent choice of accelerating value ( according to seniority plus performance ( perhaps)) that makes everyone the happiest employee to promote that staff loyalty, [this worked well at a former (low paying but satisfying, challenging) job when we got ascending value catalogues to a department store / mail order catalogue. Everyone was happy, and admin didn’t have to pay much money for this positive reinforcement) especially since we are the lowest paid, but seemingly most devoted to out particular patient population & their level of problems; & I must not forget the unique & fabulous learning environment with our top notch EM residency program, (though not as effortless as “back in the day,” as we must be very proactive to learn from the residents or our cases, but I imagine it’s fantastic compared to private hospitals) learning environment I think most of us appreciate with our ED resident program & that is largely why many of us are there. That and the general, constant challenge. There are really only an isolated few who are there to exploit the combination of factors to be a lo-baller (who none of us like or respect AND you know who you are…but probably don’t give a damn about my blog. Or maybe you do, because you may appreciate art or something else we have in common, or truly not realize I’m talking to / about you. It could happen. Not everyone is self aware or as conniving as they seem up front. Whew… Ok, really done ranting (or suggesting any change, but please feel free to consider my ideas. Bottom line is i will vote for Obama! And probably the more liberal choice for most of the proposition…maybe mix it up, issue by issue. Thats where we have the most power (propositions), so i dont want to skip it despite not knowing every detail, but will only vote for props & candidates i feel at least somewhat confident in my opinion and a little trustworthy (judged by my gut reaction ÷ some reasonable sounding forum arguments (also judged largely by my gut feeling This is my process, though usually i read more, farther in advance. Good luck to all of us. Sorry to ramble on. I’m sure youve stopped reading if not interested. Cool. Eed #selfportraeit #self #me #voting #365 #opinions

Daily Habit. August 1, 2012. Braid. Mandip braided my hair at work tonight. So cute. Late post cuz I fell asleep as I so often do. (Taken with Instagram) View high resolution

Daily Habit. August 1, 2012. Braid. Mandip braided my hair at work tonight. So cute. Late post cuz I fell asleep as I so often do. (Taken with Instagram)

Daily Habit. July 10, 2012. Green mystery. I found this jar of green , grainy syrup in the nurse’s station; lid off, spoon in jar, labeled, “mysterious.” I think I’ll taste it & see what it is… (Taken with Instagram) Haha! I didn’t really taste it. It smelled like “Skin So Soft” and looked like a sugar / oil body scrub. I scrubbed in my hands. Oily and made my skin soft. Sometimes Instagram will have to do. Having trouble balancing everything, especially on work days. I’ll try to be creative with them. :-) View high resolution

Daily Habit. July 10, 2012. Green mystery. I found this jar of green , grainy syrup in the nurse’s station; lid off, spoon in jar, labeled, “mysterious.” I think I’ll taste it & see what it is… (Taken with Instagram)

Haha! I didn’t really taste it. It smelled like “Skin So Soft” and looked like a sugar / oil body scrub. I scrubbed in my hands. Oily and made my skin soft.

Sometimes Instagram will have to do. Having trouble balancing everything, especially on work days. I’ll try to be creative with them. :-)

Daily Habit. May 19, 2012. At work. So tired after way too much fun and way too little sleep. Had a blast though. Night shift. Want to sleep. Maybe defibrillator will wake me up. Ha! Brought lensbaby for the small size, but should have brought 50mm to get some better focus.